The Great Cut: Purple Prose

This is my ninth post on novel revision. The goal: cut 50,000+ words from my 172,000 word fantasy novel, Black Scales, to make it a more marketable piece of fiction.

Well, after another revision (and a brief break from blogging), I have successfully shaved an additional 5000 words from my total word count now at 120,154.  That’s a total of over 52,000+ words cut!  Wow!

In my previous post, The Great Cut: A Death to Darlings, I discussed cutting descriptions, dialogue and/or backstory that stand apart from the plot, but are particularly liked by the author.

Similar to darlings, writers often have an attraction to their own purple prose, generally classified as wordy, ornate or overly descriptive writing.  Unlike darlings, purple prose can appear in important parts of the story.

Purple prose can take different forms for different writers. For me, descriptions that appear taken from a Victorian ghost story often need a second look.  Abstract descriptions attempting to describe something otherworldly are another example.

In the example below from my novel, I try to describe the experience of oneness my character Nubis experiences when he is able to share the memories of his dead friend, Kail. The result is abstract to say the least. I ultimately cut the paragraph after one of my sample readers commented, “What?” Needless to say, I still like the description.

“It fractured him whole emptying him full. Any loss a gain in momentary infinity held, paralyzed and free in a closed loop of endless love linked imperviously by a thread of Kail’s consciousness speaking now from outside time, present.”

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